It takes a really long time for a broken bone to heal

Yesterday (Friday, January 19) Mike and I traveled to Little Rock to see Doctor Nicolas at UAMS.  He didn't do much more than unwrap the surgery so he could have a look at it.  He removed about every other staple in the foot long scar Mike has down the front of his leg, rewrapped the knee in the same old splint that Mike came in with and told him he needs to come back next Friday again to have the rest of the staples removed.

Today, Gary came to replace the gutters along the back side of the house.  Mike has had to stay in bed, so Sonny and I are here to help as much as we can.  We made frankengutter using a lot of the old pieces and all of the new pieces Mike had gotten the day before he broke his leg and if I say so myself, it looks pretty good and I think it will withstand a pretty big snow sliding off the roof if we have any more of that this winter.

Meanwhile I am busy catching up with the bills and the phone calls and the things I've left undone.  Mike is getting a little better every day.  A home health evaluator called Friday morning while we were leaving for Little Rock and told me that the physical therapist who would be taking Mike's case had the flu.  I think the evaluator is going to come out to visit us on Monday, but maybe she is just going to call Monday to talk about when she can make an appointment.  Mike is able to get out of bed and walk to the bathroom and is much better at picking his heavy leg with the fiberglass splint on it using his other leg to lift.  Ten days down and another thirty or so days to go.

Mike's niece Crystal and his brother Danny have been wonderful about calling Mike regularly to help take his mind off his healing process.  I am a mess myself, my mind keeps wandering.  I sometimes think about how many birthdays there are to celebrate at the end of January.  My niece Katie will be three  on the 22nd.  My youngest brother Bryan's birthday is on the 25th, my grandson Craig celebrates his 24th birthday on the 27th of January and my nephew Gary has his birthday on the 28th.

All those birthdays help to make me think about other things than that my daughter Eva will have been gone for a year on the very last day of this month.  I think I have prepared myself for the sad thoughts about Eva's death, but when I least expect it my thoughts are all of her and how sad it all is.  Eva's father was adopted and never knew his birth parents.  His adoptive mother and father are both deceased and although they adopted an older son, Eva was never able to find her uncle again after her grandmother died.  She always remembered that her maiden name was Miers, but now that she is gone, it looks as if the name Miers went with her.  I gave her all the things I had from my first marriage for her to remember her father and her grandmother and I don't know where any of that is now.  I do understand now, why Eva was so insistent that her father be remembered....for without Eva to keep his memory, he would be gone.  Eva left behind two wonderful children, both of whom are parents.  She had a granddaughter and a grandson when she died and a few weeks ago another granddaughter was born--a most beautiful baby girl that I know Eva would have loved and held and cuddled the same way she did her first granddaughter 4 years ago and the same way she held and loved her grandson three years ago.  The thought brings a smile to my face.  I am the great grandmother and I love Eva's children and their spouses and her grandchildren.  Now I understand why Eva did her best to keep her father's memory alive  and I will keep Eva's memory alive for all of my own life the same way!

Tonight after Gary finished working, Sonny was too tired to cook supper and he told me how to make his meatloaf.  I put a couple tablespoons of chicken bullion powder and a little water, two eggs, two thirds of a cup of oatmeal and about a pound and a half of hamburger in a bowl, mixed it thoroughly with my hands then  filled the 12 cups of a rubber muffin pan with the meat (the middle ones had the least meat because Sonny says they don't cook as quickly as the outside cups), put the muffin pan into the oven at 375 degrees for ten minutes. I made a glaze--of a tablespoon of brown sugar, a couple teaspoons of ginger and a quarter cup of ketchup and when the ten minutes was up I glazed 8 of the little meat loaves.  I left the glaze off of mine since I don't eat sugar.  Back into the oven for another 18 minutes, I set a timer and started some macaroni and cheese to make a meal.  (Then I started writing this blog...and it's time for me to go finish supper now!)

Say No to Ice Skating and Break Dancing!!

My husband Mike fell on the ice a week ago Saturday, January 5.   It snowed on Christmas Day and on the day after, more snow fell so that in all we got about ten inches.  For several days after that, the snow melted some in the daytime, but at night the temperature would fall below freezing and the next day there would still be snow.  After nearly a week the snow finally melted enough to start sliding off the roof, huge chunks of it that made it look like it had recently snowed the way it piled up beside the house.  On the day that Mike got hurt Gary, the man who comes to work here when something calls for an extra set of hands or some special knowledge, came to help us repair the damage to the gutters that the heavy snow had caused pulling them down and breaking some of them.  Gary was the one who came inside to tell me that Mike had fallen and that he might have broken his leg.  Things have gone double time around here for me ever since.

Mike was sitting up right on the front cement walkway with his leg across the pile of frozen snow.  I brought him his knee brace and crutches that he asked for trying his best to get up, but none of it worked so I came inside and dialed 911.  I tried calling his doctor in Malvern and his surgeon in Little Rock and even the emergency room at the hospital, but none of them had any suggestions for me.  The emergency crew who came to help Mike from off the front sidewalk first slid a plastic stretcher underneath him, then slid the stretcher onto a gurney, all of it heavy duty work because the ground outside was uneven and slanted and there was little room to do much of anything in the tiny space of the cement walkway between the garage and the hedges.  Once inside, the ambulance driver told me she was going to take him to St. Joseph/Baptist Hospital in Hot Springs.  I had never been there before, but I followed the ambulance all the way there.  The trauma crew checked Mike in, put him onto a bed and he waited for the Doctor to come and order xrays and something for his pain.  It was a couple of hours before the doctor came and when he did, he turned out to be a very young resident who had no experience at all in orthopedics.  He ordered and looked at the X-rays of Mike's knee and upper calf then in another couple of hours came back to the room to ask Mike if he felt better and could walk.  He said he didn't see any kind of break on the pictures of Mike's knee and said Mike should go home and keep the knee propped up and take pain killers and that the knee would most likely be better the next day.  It was tough getting Mike back home again.  The hospital gave him some kind of delauden to kill the pain for the twenty mile trip and it took a lot of time for him to go inside, slowly sliding out of the car then hobbling on a walker and crutches into the garage, across the six feet, up the high step into the house.  Sonny was here to help and he and I brought Mike's wheeled office chair from the computer room and pushed him across the expanse of the livingroom but Mike had to negotiate the three steps up into the bedroom hall all by himself, one tiny movement at a time.  From there it was still not easy going down the hall and across the bedroom and it was not any small task getting up onto the bed without moving the knee but Mike told Sonny and I what to do and we managed.

It was a long wait until Monday,  The trauma Doctor had said to call and speak to an orthopedist, so on  early as possible Mike called to see when he would be able to get in and see Doctor Nicholas at UAMS, the surgeon who had treated him two years ago when he'd had the Giant Cell Tumor at the top of his fibula. At first Mike had an appointment for Friday, 5 days away, but throughout the day he talked to the nurses at UAMS until finally he asked me if I would be able to take him in right then so the doctor could see him that afternoon before three.  It was a long trip to Little Rock, the biggest part of it being the walk across the house, down the three steps into the living area and the one big step down into the garage.  After that, pushing and pulling himself up into the back seat of the car must have seemed like a piece of cake and when we got to UAMS there was a wheel chair and a technician waiting to take him into the hospital itself.  

First we went to radiology for xrays then we went to the 7th floor clinic to see Doctor Nicholas, with half an hour to spare before the 3 o'clock deadline.  Dr. Nicholas showed us on the xrays that Mike did indeed have a break in his fibula and a tear in some tissue that needed repair.  He said that he could not do the surgery until Wednesday but that he would check Mike into the hospital to stay off his leg and not bend his knee or do any more damage before the surgery that would be first thing in the morning on Wednesday.  He introduced the resident surgeon, Dr. Dooley.  Since Mike was only in the hospital so he could stay off his leg, the time before surgery was easy with nothing to be done but to watch tv and play on the computer tablet.  I spent the night Monday because it was dark before we were finished checking Mike into his hospital room and it's a long way to drive home.  On Tuesday, though, I decided to drive back to Bismarck and do the things I had not been able to do before I left and get ready for what I knew might be a long time gone if Mike's surgery the next day didn't go as planned.  I went home via Hot Springs so I could fill up with gas at a familiar place and so I could get a couple of prescriptions filled for Sonny (who'd been to the doctor the Thursday before in Amity) and stock up on milk and eggs so Sonny would have provisions if I was gone for a long time.  That night I showered in my very own shower and slept in my very own bed.  I'd talked to Mike on the phone and he'd warned me that the weather was going to be bad on Wednesday, so I left as soon as it got daylight hoping to be back in Little Rock in time for Mike's nine thirty surgery.  I did get there a little after nine, but when I got to his room Mike was gone.  I hurried down to the 2nd floor but Mike had already gone into the surgery rooms.  I missed him completely, but I checked in at the desk and waited until about noon when Doctor Nicholas came to talk to me and tell me that the surgery had gone fine.  (They talked about replacing Mike's knee, but they repaired the bone break and tissue damage instead using metal rods in the top of the bone and cement and sutures to put it all back in place to heal.)  Mike got out of recovery and back into his room a little after four.  And then it was a night of him being groggy or asleep and me watching tv or using my laptop.  Thursday was a day of Mike in pain.  There was not so much groaning as one might have expected though and several of Mike's family and friends called to talk to him.  The hospital is very efficient and comfortable and everyone who works there is very nice.  When the doctors made their rounds on Thursday they told Mike that he could go home as soon as he was ready.  On Friday they made arrangements for him to check out and about noon we headed for home.  Again it was a chore to take Mike from the car thru the garage, across the living area, up the stairs and down the hall into his bed. 

Now, all is well.  Mike is resting peacefully or awake watching tv or using his tablet, taking as little pain medication as he can and exercising, flexing his calf muscles and wiggling his toes and occassionally standing up beside his bed using his crutches and strengthening his good leg so it will hold all his weight.  I am still on double time having to take over some of his chores along with my own.  Thank goodness for Sonny who has taken on the rest of Mike's chores.  He has been wonderful cooking the three squares a day Mike needs to get back on his feet.  I think we will be going back to see Doctor Nicholas in Little Rock next Friday.  Meanwhile, on Monday a home health physical therapist should be coming to visit to make recommendations about what Mike might need.  There's nothing else to say about it all except ....get well soon, Mike.

A New Years Post...
I wrote this post as 2012 was drawing to a close.  It was hard for me, looking back, not to dwell on the sadness and pain and grief that came during the year, so this final entry took a long time for me to finish.

In 2012, I faced a parent's greatest nightmare, the worst fear of them all.  On the final day of January, the only daughter I birthed, Eva, died at the age of 44.  My grief has not ended. I miss Eva in my life. 

In October of 2012, my friend, my husband's mother, Norma Becknell died. My mother in law and I saw one another regularly for 30 years, from 1982 when her youngest son brought me home to meet his parents until the day of her death. We enjoyed coffee, garage sales, her husband Gadget (who died in 1996), their "full of personality" dogs, their wonderful friends and family, both new and old.  I liked Norma's artwork and portraits.  We had fun making beds and cleaning and cooking together.  The smallest things brought laughter and joys.  Together!.  After years of smoking together, we quit together.  Always through the years, we chatted together, we shopped together, and together we had a great time. Norma will always be a blessing to me.  I miss her in my life.

Last Thanksgiving I wrote the following--I am thankful for my children.  I will always wish that my daughter and my son had a better, fuller life, that they’d been able to travel more widely and meet more people and that they’d been exposed to more ways of doing things and seen more of life….but my best wishes for my daughter and my son are just one more way that I know I am thankful for them both.  I am thankful that my daughter, although she is an adult with a family and friends and problems and joys of her own, she stops sometimes and tells her mother that she loves her.  She doesn’t forget me.  I am thankful that my son although he is an adult, helps out with things that need to be done, cooks deliciously, steps in to lend a hand when things are too heavy or too much hard work, occupies himself without looking to me or my husband to keep him from being bored living in the country with no place to go…and he, too stops sometimes to tell his mother that he loves her.  

I would have to make changes to the note above.  My daughter died January 31, 2012.  I am thankful that I knew Eva from the moment of her birth until the time of her death, all  44 years of her life.  For her, I still grieve.  For her I always wished a wonderful life full of travel and people and ways of doing things and seeing things that would make her life one of blessings and joys.  May my daughter Eva now rest in peace.   As an adult with a family and friends and problems and joys of her own Eva always stopped to include me in her life and she always stopped to tell her mother that she loved her and that she hadn't forgotten me.  I am thankful for all the times we were together and will never forget a single one.  Sometimes my son and I talk and he tells me that he misses having Eva in his life.  It has been tearful for me to see and talk to my grandchildren, but I am thankful to know them both, parents today, I'm delighted to see Eva mirrored and see how she has given some of the best parts of herself to her children and in her grandchildren!

More about the old year

In the winter months of 2012, it never snowed.  It was very cold in the spring so I was late to put my winter garden plants into the ground.  We got baby chicks, but it was so cold for them that I worried how they would fare.  Spring came then after everything was covered in tiny green buds the weather froze one last time.  Our property taxes fell due and I hadn't saved enough money to pay them.  The price of gas was so high we stopped most of our traveling.  We stopped eating out.  I occupied much of my time looking for coupons and discounts and rearranging our spending habits, saving for the next taxes and insurance that would fall due.  Our stock market investment share value fell from a few dollars to a few cents and my IRA lost its worth.  In the summer months it was very hot and very dry.  There was no rain for long stretches and my garden simply burned up.  My electricity bill stayed healthy though, and my water bill.  I caught the flu Thanksgiving and was abed for a week before I went to the doctor to find out that the flu had evolved into pneumonia and that Mike, too had the flu.  The year ended with stormy weather and loss of electricity for long periods of time.  The world didn't end as predicted on December 21.

There were, however, in 2012 many pluses!  The chicks were fine and healthy.  In spite of my worries they grew up and started laying eggs before the summer was over! I enjoyed being a grandmother when Chloe and Trinity came and visited us for a couple of weeks in the summer.  My niece Crystal came and spent the night with us and brought her husband Mike and Alley, her teenage daughter.  In August I went to the Nagel Family Reunion held at the resort next door to my brother Doyle's farm in Gainsville, Texas.  Nagel is the last name of my maternal grandparents, my mother's parents.  I enjoyed seeing my Aunt and my Uncle who are still living and cousins and and their children and grandchildren.  I saw some of my forever friends, some cousins I had not seen in a long time,  and some cousins for the first time. My daughter Dawn came to visit for Thanksgiving and brought her son who is just learning to drive and her daughter who is in preschool.  The springtime was welcomed and was beautiful.  The summer included swimming and exploring.  The fall was a wall of vibrant color and brought holidays and love.  December brought Christmas and reminded me once more that my daughter was a wonderful person.  She was one of those people who, no matter how far away in time or distance was someone she called friend, she always remembered to let them know she loved them.  My mailbox was full to the brim with cards and letters from my own family and friends and also good wishes and hugs from those who loved and missed my daughter, sharing their own Christmas with me.  The world didn't end as predicted on December 21.

The New Year came in quietly.  Mike was asleep and Mike2 and I had only beer to make a toast with.  The neighbors shot few fireworks, so when  Mike2 found some old bottle rockets, we shot two of them into the sky and we each said "Happy New Year".  Welcome 2013! I will always remember 2012, but as the year draws to a close, I know that my memories will be full of both laughter and sadness...bittersweet.

It was a wonderful Thanksgiving....Mike's daughter came to visit with her sixteen year old son and her 4 year old daughter.  We had deep fried turkey with all the trimmings.  I made cornbread so we had cornbread dressing and rice dressing both.  I visited with my grandkids on Wednesday night and all day on Thursday, but on Thursday night I felt sick, feverish and achy and lots and lots of coughing and coughing and coughing all night long.  I felt so bad I didn't get up out of bed on Friday and so my daughter and her kiddos left for home that next evening.  I don't even remember Friday, or Saturday, or Sunday, and I barely remember Monday.  I had thought that by Monday if what I had was the flu I would be feeling better after five days of not much besides sleep to keep me going.  But Monday was no different, and neither was Tuesday.  Mike got sick on Monday...and so both of us were down.  Thank goodness for Sonny who cooked and fed us because Mike and I were both too week and dizzy and feverish to stay out of bed for long.  On Wednesday Mike and I felt good enough to go to the doctor.  He checked us both for the flu and said that Mike did indeed have the flu and put him on an antiviral.  He said that I was over all my flu symptoms and was not contagious...but I have pneumonia.  Since then I have slept a lot, have been eating light and drinking lots of fluids and taking my antibiotic every day the way the doctor ordered.  Tonight (It is December 2nd, Sunday night) I have eaten my dinner, taken my medication and feel like I am better today, still awake after being out of bed for a few hours.  Tomorrow should be even better!  I have three days of antibiotic left to take.

My husband's mother passed away unexpectedly, last week. He and I and our son made a rush trip to Lafayette, Louisiana for the funeral. My son said he doesn't want to go back to Louisiana again if it will always be for a funeral. My niece wrote the following obituary:

"Funeral services were held Friday, October 19, 2012 at 10:30 a.m. at Evangeline Memorial Gardens Chapel in Carencro for Norma D. Becknell, age 86, the former Norma D. Currie, who passed away Tuesday, October 16, 2012 at Lafayette General Medical Center in Lafayette. Interment in Evangeline Memorial Gardens in Carencro. The family held visiting hours from 4:00 p.m. until 9:00 p.m. Thursday and on Friday from 8:00 a.m. until the time of the service. Melancon Funeral Home, Evangeline Memorial Gardens Chapel, 4117 North University Avenue, was in charge of arrangements. Pastor Chad Thibodeaux, pastor of Vatican Baptist Church of Vatican, officiated at the services.

Mrs. Becknell was a native of Jackson, Mississippi and a resident of Carencro since 1994. She was a member of Missionary Baptist Church in Many, LA. She enjoyed spending time with family and friends, and she loved her dogs. Norma was a strong spirited independent woman who will be deeply missed.

Survivors include two sons, Daniel Brewer and his wife, Pam, of Lafayette and Mike Brewer and his wife, Myra, of Bismarck, Arkansas; two daughters, Rhonda Darrell Trahan and her husband, Cecil, of Lafayette, Deanne Becknell Hallam and her husband, Billy of Jasper, Texas; one brother, H.C. "Jack" Cooper and his wife, Minnie, of Coushatta; one sister, Betty Huston, of Boise, Idaho; and eleven grandchildren, Crystal Snider and her husband, Mike, Jenny Shelton her husband, Colt, Erica Miller and her husband, Darrel, and Laura Brewer all of Carencro, Tess Blanchard, Josh Brewer, Allison Reed, and J.W. Rourk all of Lafayette, Sonny Brewer of Bismarck, Arkansas, Roni Becknell Sadler of Fort Worth, Texas, and James "Beau" Fisher of San Marcos, Texas. Ten great grandchildren, Ashley Hilton, Anthony "Craig" Baldi, Allison Jacob, Grant Arceneaux, Chloe Brewer, Trinity Brewer, Lexi Clifton, Logan Clifton, Molly Reed, and Andrew Grettner. Two great-great grandchildren Zoey Hilton, Anthony Craig Baldi, Jr. Long time caregiver and special friend Angela Boutin as well as a host of nieces, nephews and friends.

She was preceded in death by her husband, Lynn "Gadget" Becknell; her parents, S.D. Currie and the former Mabel Du Pree' both of Magee Mississippi; two sons, Ronald Bruce Becknell and Ronald Brewer; granddaughter Eva Baldi and one sister, Myrtice Anderson.

The following are some heartfelt notes to show how much Norma (Nomo to her grandkids) was loved...

Allison Brewer Reed
Norma Becknell 1926 - 2012
The last of my remaining grandparents passed away today. She was one tough old bitch. There is no doubt in my mind where I get my stubborn pigheadedness, and fire filled zest for life. RIP Nomo.

Crystal Snider
I lost a piece of my heart today as I watched my grandmother take her last breath. The love I hold for you will be eternal, I will be strong just as you always were, I will always carry your memory, as well as all the time we shared, and when it is my time to leave this earth I know you will be by my side to welcome me - or fuss and ask me what took so long. I love you, always, and like I said earlier you are a big part of my "everything" I love you nomo

Alley Jacob
Today, My family and I mourn due to the loss of a person we held close to our hearts, Nomo. She was a terrific person, and she definitely made her mark in our lives. While reminiscing,please remember, "Time doesn't fly, It makes memories." What matters is each moment she spent with us was treasured, not how long ago it was. She touched our hearts at some point, and for that she will never be forgotten. We love and miss you so much, Nomo. Rest in Peace. ♥

Laura Brewer
We gained a new angel this afternoon. Nomo you will be missed by many. We all loved you very much. Thank you for everything you have taught me over the years. I'll love you forever and you will never be forgotten. I have already started telling Andrew about all of our memories together. Give pa hugs and kisses for all of us!

Deanna Becknell Hallam
I went to visit my stepmom in Lafayette Friday, and I am so thankful for that visit because today she passed on. She went home....and I am sure my father was waiting for her with open arms. She was my mother for 40 years, and she helped me through some very tough times. She was a loving lady that was never afraid to give you a kick if you needed it.....I loved her very much. Very much

Jennifer Shelton

RIP Norma "Nomo" Becknell she was fiery and tough and definitely had more strength than anyone in this world... I love u Nomo always and when u get to those pearly gates give pa gadget uncle Ronnie and big momma lots of love from all of us... Miss u already :(

Myra Maggard Brewer
Sad news today as Mike's mother Norma Becknell died about noon. Rest in Peace, Nomo! We all love you and you will always live on in our memories. It has always been a treasure to know you!

Crystal Snider (October 17, 2012)
Today will be the first day I face without you, I find comfort in knowing that you are in peace, but find a void within myself from the moment you left. Every ounce of my soul misses you. I am lost. God grant me strength.

Crystal Snider (Friday, October 19, 2012)
My grandmothers service touched my heart, i had only intended to give her the send off that she was worthy of. Not only did I feel that was accomplished, but both sides of my family came out and supported and comforted one another, my friends and Hulco family showed me love and support. I don't know what the future will hold, I know that I'll have to adjust to life without her, which will be hard, this morning when I left my house I passed up the funeral home and found myself getting ready to go to her house, as if my heart was on autopilot. Checking in on her had become second nature, so that will be a hard habit to break. I love you nomo.

Jennifer Shelton (Friday October 19, 2012)
My NoMo's funeral was beautiful My big sister did such an amazing job I'm so proud of her :-) and thank u uncle mark for all of ur help and thank u for all of my wonderful family and friends getting together and helping each other through this hard time... Nomo u will be missed sorely as we love u do much... I will cherish always every moment and memory we shared and every lesson u taught me I love u Nomo may u rest in peace and watch over all of us always

Laura Brewer (Friday October 19, 2012)
Today was heart breaking! I want to take this time to thank everyone for their love, support, and prayers for my family and I. A special thank you to Katie for taking care of little man today. Rest in peace Nomo. Don't forget to keep an eye on all of us. —

Mike Brewer
As heavy as my heart was to watch my Mother's funeral today, I was glad to be surrounded with so many friends, and family that knew and loved her. A very special thanks to my niece Crystal who stayed with my Mother, her Grandmother, through these last few weeks and put together a beautiful service that I am sure would of made my mother smile. For years it was Crystal and her Mother that helped my Mother stay self sufficient and words can never express how much I appreciated being able to know they were there to check on her, bring her food, and lend any help they could. My Mother was not big on public signs of emotion, but I know how much she appreciated them being a daily part of her life. We should all be so lucky to have such caring people around us in times of need.

The 2012 Nagel Family Reunion was held in Gainsville, Texas on August 10, 11, 12 at the Lone Oak Ranch Retreat and hosted by Doyle and Brenda Maggard.  I was there and got to see and visit with many, many of the Nagel family who came to enjoy the festivities. I am a Nagel.  Nagel was my Mother Jane Maggard's maiden name.  Henry and Anna Nagel were my grandparents.  I need to make a list of everyone in my huge family so I don't leave anyone out.  I know from Uncle Eilert's family that Steve brought much of his family and that Rollie and Cinda and husband Mike Becker were there.  I know from my Uncle Herb's family was Kim and husband Mike Brace and daughters Allison and Sara and Kim's granddaughters. Many of my mother Jane's family were there.  Uncle Bud and his daughter Rhonda were there.  From my Aunt Verna's family Bruce and Sue Trost came and I sat next to Denise Hole and her son James in church.  Also from Aunt Verna and Uncle Carl's family was Sandy and husband Gailyn Boeschling.  My Aunt Dorothy and husband Bob Evans was there and Dorothy's three daughters, Janet Sammons, Chris Blackwell and husband Joe and Cynthia Logan.

My son (...whose real name is Robert Michael but who goes by the name of Mike--which is also the name that my husband goes by, so to differentiate, I often say Mike2--except among family.) whose childhood nickname is "Sonny" and I drove to Trophy Club, Texas early (on Monday, August 6) because we wanted

Robert Michael Timothy Lee Brewer, is it any wonder they all call him Sonny!?!

to visit with my dad and my brother Gary and his wife, Judy from Delaware.  They'd arrived at my Dad's house, the last stop on their summertime 'trek' out to California (to see their new granddaughter Amelia for the first time and their sons Danny and Gary and their wives and children) and would be staying at my Dad's house until after the 2012 Nagel Family Reunion.  My Dad  is 92, and will celebrate his 93rd birthday this year.  My older

L.M. "Jack" Maggard was born November 19, 1919

Gary Maggard's birthday is June 12

Charla holding Amelia while Isabel does her own thing.

brother Gary was born in 1942.  Gary and his wife, Judy live in Bear Delaware close to his daughter Tammy Benbrook and her husband David.  They have two grandsons there, too, named Darrel (19) and Kyle (15).  They were not able to come to this year's Nagel Reunion and neither were Gary's son Gary (nor, wife, Stacy and sons David, Brandon, Noah and Luke) or son Danny (wife Sarah and  4 year old twins Kyler and Kaylin)  But Son Justin with his new wife Val were there and so was daughter Charla Alino with her husband Ignacio and daughters Isabel (2) and Amelia (about 1/3 of a year old).  

Gary Bonar and Gary Maggard

My older sister Marjean (born in 1944 and died in 1993) had children there including her son Gary Bonar with his son Andrew.  Marjean's daughter is named Jana, and her husband is Jeff  Sciba and they have sons Ethan (17) and Austin (8) and a daughter Abbigayle Jane (6).  as well as son Jack Bonar with his wife Amy and daughters Katy (16) and Emma (11).  I am the middle child with two older siblings and three younger ones.  My brother Doyle is 3 years my junior.  He and his wife Brenda hosted the reunion at the Lone Oak Ranch Retreat next door to his farm.  They finished building their 'farmhouse' and moved into it before New Years of 2012.  A big part of the fun at the reunion was visiting the farm and taking a tour of their beautiful house.  There was a huge water cooler blowing onto the patio outside making it almost pleasant to sit in the 

The water cooled patio overlooks the barns, pond and pastures.  Sitting outside are (left) Dorothy Evans, Kim Brace, Allison Bush, Sara Batchelder, Mike Brace, Stan Maggard, Jason Helal and Jack Maggard

hundred degree heat and visit comfortably!  Down at the barns there were chickens and horses and a donkey to see.  Lots of people were going down to the pond and fishing from the dock there.  Absolutely nothing was missing!  Doyle's son Kenny lives closeby and was able to be at the reunion all 3 days.  I grabbed the chance to visit with him and I know Sonny did too because Kenny is one of our favorite people!  Anne Helal and her husband Jason were there and I got a nice visit with her and her mother Brenda at the same time!  Anne and Brenda and my deceased daughter were close and it is pleasant to see what wonderful people Eva was close to.  I recognized Jason's singing in church and didn't resist telling him after the service what a beautiful voice he has. Anne and Jason's children Jordan, Logan and Alexis grew up so much since the last time I saw them I had a hard time not to say so.  Jordan spent some time entertaining the family with his guitar and singing.  Logan was the perfect gentleman and Alexis was taller than me, but still a youngster, I could tell, by the fact that she was everywhere and had energy that I'd love for her to share with me!  

Kim Brace said something that made Stan's crew all laugh!  That's Tammy Nagel in the left hand corner and all smiles are Derek Maggard, Jason and Chelsea Gould and Conni Maggard

Stan Maggard

My brother, ten years younger, Stan and his wife Conni were there, with son Derek and daughter Chelsea Gould and her husband Jason. They stayed up late to watch the meteor shower and whenever you'd look for Jason or Chelsea they were looking at bugs so you know they had a good time!  Stan's oldest son Jake was there with his wife Carrie and daughter Lauren (11) and son Brennan (8) and new baby boy (9 mos).  My 

Alex is teaching Blake the ropes to mobility!

brother twenty years younger, Bryan and his wife Denise were there with their two little ones Alex and Katy Jane.  Bryan loves to fish, so much of the time there was someone fishing at the dock who knew where everything was, and Alex knows his way around not just the fishing dock, but the whole farm, and the house too.  He got a chance to visit with everyone because all us adults were standing in line to hear what he had to say.  Katy Jane is quieter, but she was dressed cute as a button, adorable in her different hats and when she talked to me she was as full of questions as Alex used to be, so when she gets older there might be two or three who can answer every question.  Sometimes Doyle doesn't know and says "ask Brenda" or Brenda doesn't know and says "ask Doyle" but it didn't take me long to figure out the thing to do was to 'ask Alex!'  

Doyle Maggard

The Retreat was included a hotel and western style houses, a Dance Hall and Barroom an eating place and  outside I saw a swimming pool and a petting zoo and a church.  We all broke bread together on Saturday at a noonday meal and Saturday night before nature sent the Leonides meteor shower there was a wagon ride that traveled along the perimeter of the entire ranch, through the woods and swamps, over the bridge, down by the cows and the horses and (at one point you could look out and see Doyle's huge house and all his barns and the fishing pond) and ended up on the road in front of the hotel where everyone was sitting outside at the tables, past the swimming pool and back where it started at the Cafe in front of the yellow and white cottage where Steve Nagel and his family were staying.  And everyone got a chance to ride before it got dark enough to light the bonfire.  Another good time!  I started out sitting on a log next to my Uncle Bud (who will be 88 on August 19) and his daughter Rhonda and ended up sitting on a different log next to my Dad and Allison Bush and Sara Batchelder who were being served roasted marshmallows by Denise Hole (Aunt Verna's son Bruce's daughter) 's son James because Sara liked them burnt and they kept catching fire.  I laughed and loved it all and was worn out still wanting to stay longer when it was time to go back and take a shower and tumble into my bed.  

Bud Nagel and Bruce Trost

Henry Nagel's family includes Evans, Logans, Beckers, Blackwells, Boeschlings as well as Nagels.

With the church as a backdrop, Mike Brace looks on while Steve and Elsie greet family including Dorothy Evans and daughter Cynthia Logan.  (That's Rollie Nagel who's almost out of the picture!)

On Sunday there was a church service.  The non-denominational congregation that is building the church up the road held a complete service for us and welcomed all us Nagel family in to sing the praises of the Lord.  The sermon was exactly the right thing to say to so many of us there.  It started out with us reading bible verses where our savior tells us not to fret or worry because worrying never helps and it could harm.  The sermon went on to tell us to be patient and never to lose our faith.  Put it into the hands of the Lord with prayer and the right results will follow even though sometimes we can't see it coming or we can only see it when we look back and realize that things could have gone differently.  It was altogether beautiful and moving and the perfect end to a perfect family reunion.

Brenda Maggard chats with Sandy and Gailyn Boeschling

My cousin Cynthia and me!

Dorothy Evans with daughters Janet Sammons, Cynthia Logan and Christine Blackwell

This beautiful view provided by the livingroom windows of Brenda and Doyle's house crosses the patio with it's umbrella tables and flows down to the pond and the barns and across the whole of the farm!

Photo taken in our yard on April 27...Mike finished building his chicken tractor and the chicks seem to be very happy in their new home.  Our garden is growing and the broccoli is ready to cut, steam and serve for diner.  Our trellis roses are in bloom and the lawn is ready to be mowed.

The chicks are almost big enough to be called chickens!

Today is Crystal's birthday.  I've known my niece for most of the birthdays that's she's had in her life.  The reason I am talking about her today is that she was here visiting this morning when I woke and now I am waiting to know for sure that she is back at home safe and sound.  She and her husband and daughter should be getting to their house any time now.  They came to visit yesterday and last night went to a concert in Little Rock to see Regina Spektor.  ( Hero-Regina Spektor ) It was a long drive for them, and it was the first time they have come to visit us.  Today, leaving, they all said they would be back so I think they like driving a little in the mountains here and our house with its peace and quiet and it's little garden and livestock.  Sonny cooked meatloaf and potatoes au gratin last night and extra special scrambled eggs for breakfast this morning.  

I have been reluctant to write on this blog since my daughter died.  I am still saddened that I will see her no more, but every day I is easier knowing that she is in heaven now without pain or worry.  On Friday, Mike and I went to Sam's in Hot Springs and he surprised me with a picture on canvas that he had ordered.  The picture is of my daughter walking with her granddaughter across a field on my brother's farm.  It is lovely...beautiful colors, and I see things I recognize when I look at the painting.  My niece Crystal brought me a painting of my daughter done by a friend of hers, copied from a photograph on Eva's facebook.  It, too is a reminder that Eva is all right now, smiling and happy and in need of nothing but a picture frame.

Baby Chicks bought on March 23, 2012 will be giving us eggs before we know it!

So much has changed this past little while that I am glad for the chance to spend my words talking about what is going on with me.  The main thing that makes me hop out of bed in the mornings are the chickens.  We have enough yard space here that we are able to have a little chicken coop.  Mike built it.  He calls it a chicken tractor because he has wheels on one end of it and it is light weight, built of pvc pipe and chicken wire, and can be moved from place to place in our yard.  The chicks are six or eight weeks old right now.  When we brought them home from the farm store they were little peepers, all yellow and soft...and as time has progressed they have grown wings and are too big for the big old dog cage that we kept them in at first.  They are growing fast, almost too fast for me to read up on the subject so that I am able to give them the nutrients they need and watch out for the rainfall and high wind, the parasites and wildlife that might hurt them.  They are chicks now, but in no time at all they will probably be giving us eggs....which is why we are raising them.  

Another thing that brings me outside every day is our garden.  It, too is six or eight weeks old.  It was cold out when we put the cabbage and broccoli and cauliflower in the newly tilled dirt and the groundhog said there would be six more weeks of winter.  That didn't happen, so it has been touch and go with the heat and harsh sunshine making us wonder if the winter crops will mature before the hot summer kills the plants.  So far so good, we have a little broccoli and there's a brand new tiny little cauliflower out there and the asparagus is coming up, none of it enough to make a meal from, but enough to make Mike and I feel like planting the garden was worthwhile.  We also have tomatoes and bell peppers, the two things that grow the best, and lots of onion and even some potatoes.  Our garden is not a big thing, but it is something that makes me want to hop out of bed in the mornings.

Perhaps retirement is not everyone's cup of tea.  Perhaps life in Arkansas is too slow moving for some.  Perhaps not everyone collects rocking chairs or likes to sit in a porch swing or rock in a hammock under the trees.  Maybe some people want to be able drive to a big shopping mall every day and shop more than once or twice a week.  But, me, I think back on the rat race, driving to work every day, deciding what to fix for supper before I go to work and needing to figure out something for lunch every day and to be sure the laundry is done so I have the right clothes to wear to work, and I'm glad for the peace I find in retirement.    I don't miss the tiny yard or the neighbors or the homeowners association or the airplanes overhead or the noises of traffic on the highway.  I'm glad to be here where the occasional noisy truck or popping motorcycle passing by on the road in front of our house makes me stop to look.  I'm happy not to have any need to get used to those things.

Springtime Azaleas and Camelias bloom in our back yard.  The GumBall trees are gone.

I remember bits and pieces of this kind of life when I was young.  Living here makes me sometimes think about the farm my grandparents lived on.  Sometimes I think about the huge garden my Uncle has in front of his house right now today.  Sometimes I think about the little colored chicks that I got for Easter one year, watching them grow and crying when it was time to make dinner out of them.  Sometimes I think about learning to drive a tractor or about picking pecans shaded by huge old trees that dropped them.  I'm glad to have all these memories.  It makes me think less often about the sad things that life brings and makes me seek the joy and count the blessings.  It has made me today think about my blog and how I want to start writing in here and talk about the little chicks and about the pleasure of Crystal's visit!  Spring is here! Today the windows are all open and the sounds and smells of the world are making my life good.

Gypsy's puppies...Red and Blue are four years old now.  They'll always be puppies, though.

R.I.P. Eva Miers Baldi

There is a sadness in my heart because  my daughter Eva has is no longer with us.  I will miss her terribly.   She died unexpectedly but peacefully in her sleep on January 31 of unknown causes.  Eva was living in Coushatta, Louisiana caring for the livestock for the owner of the farm there, Jerry Williams.  When I spoke about her at a memorial service on February 3^rd, I speculated that perhaps she was there with us that night knowing  that we who knew her and loved her wanted to honor her memory.

Eva will be greatly missed. She had many friends and much family.  Even though it pains me to have lost my daughter, I feel bad for all those who will miss her and who will not see her smiling face.  No one will hear her honk when she travels down the road or hear her voice yelling ‘hey’ across the parking lot.  She won’t wave at anyone again and no one will get a quick text from her to say Hi.

Eva was born in Lafayette, Louisiana and when she was in high school she moved to Many.  She was married to Tony Baldi  in 1985 shortly after she graduated from Negreet High School and reached the age of 18.  The two were married for twenty six years.  Eva and Tony have a daughter Ashley who is married to Chris Hilton living in Saratoga, TX.  Ashley and Chris have a daughter, Zoey, age 4 who can always know that her grandma loved her very much.  Eva and Tony have a son, Craig who lives in Many and Natchitoches who is not yet settled.  Craig has a son Anthony Craig Baldi Junior whose mother is Felicia Hippler Weaver.  Boo can always know that his grandma held him when he was a tiny baby and snuggled him and tickled him and made him smile.

I know in my heart that Eva has gone to heaven and heaven is a better place. She must be even now with her two grandmothers, Irene and Jane who would have welcomed her joyfully.  I know Eva has already been greeted by those who have entered before her.  Maybe she has already seen her father.  She is probably with her Aunt Marjean who loves her and her Great Aunt Georgene who'd remember her as a 4 year old.  Maybe she has seen her grandfather Homer who died when she was 3 or her step grandfather Gadget who was always good to her.  They would all be standing in line to see what a wonderful person Eva became on Earth.  Perhaps she has even seen some that she never met on earth, her great grandparents and her great Aunts and Uncles.  Perhaps she is holding a baby even as we speak or doing some other thing she loved.  At peace there without problem or pain.

Eva was one of the sweetest persons imaginable and a good friend...the kind of
person who lends a hand and always is thoughtful of those who need a little help—After his heart surgery she stayed with my own father for two full months away from home and making him completely comfortable, the two of them buds and taking care of everything, the house the bills the appointments.    When I visited her in Many,  I can remember going with Eva cleaning the church on Saturday before Sunday services.  She never forgot to go to visit Papa Tanner or Granny or Miss Betty who lived near her in Sportsman’s Paradise.  Bringing them a smile and helping with their chores.

Eva was always a good friend, the kind of friend who never loses contact with someone she cares about.  When she gets together after years and years of distance she takes up the friendship right where it left off.  In the past few days I have gotten calls from Eva’s friends in Virginia and in Louisiana and in Colorado, childhood friends who were saddened at the news of Eva’s passing who told me that Eva was full of unconditional love.

Eva lived a good life.  Even though short, it was a full life.  She was able to do so many of the things others might not have a chance to do...seeing her babies grow up and graduate from school and have babies of their own. She traveled and visited with her husband and children all across America. In spite of problems with dyslexia she took the time to read and study and after high school, Eva went back and earned an an associates degree from Sabine Parish Technical School in Many when she was older than any other student there.  I speak from the heart when I tell you that it was my pleasure to be able to get to know Eva closely during her adult life and to work with her regularly for several years and be not just her mother but her friend.  Eva enjoyed life.  She was a big person with big hair and a big smile and the biggest part about her was always her heart.  Eva gave love and allowed herself to be loved all the while that she was here with us and I for one am gladdened to have known that love from her.

Eva has been a wonderful mother and always paid close attention to how she raised and educated her kids so they'd be the kind of adults that they are today. Ashley is a wonderful wife and mother to her own husband and child. Craig has become the man he is because his mother influence.  Both of them young, their lives are full of promise, and Eva lived to see much of that promise come to fruition and to be a part of both their lives.  I know they are saddened to lose their mother but I also know that she gave them the tools to go on with their lives and to spread the goodness and caring that was Eva.

Please don’t forget Eva and her little family in your prayers.  Pray that she be welcomed into heaven to sit with her Father and find peace and respite from her problems and pains.  It’s through us that she will live on and be a part of our lives and the beauty of her soul and the largeness of her heart will always be with us.

http://www.thesabineindex.com/index/node/5891

It would seem obvious what Trinity wants to celebrate her 2011Christmas.  

30 Days of Thankfulness

(I began this list on Thanksgiving and want to share it with you)

Day 1:  I am thankful for my long and healthy life.  Sometimes I feel as if I’ve lived through many different lifetimes….when I was in elementary school 1950-1960; my high school years 1960-1963; going to college at CSC in Greeley, Colorado and UT in Austin Texas and then USL in Lafayette, Louisiana (1963-1966); my first marriage, being a new mom with a tiny daughter, traveling overseas going back to college (1966-1975); living on country acreage outside St. Martinville, Louisiana and  watching my daughter grow, writing stories for the newspaper, driving a tractor, farming pecan trees (1975-1982); leaving Louisiana, marrying my 2^nd husband, the birth of my son, buying a house in La Porte Texas, teaching school then owning my own business (1982-2007); and retirement in Arkansas.  Throughout all these ‘lifetimes’ I was never sick or in the hospital (except when I got my tonsils out or when my babies were born), always healthy and always throughout this long and healthy life there was, every Thanksgiving many things that I was Thankful for.

Day 2-I am thankful for home.  In my many years I have lived many places, some rented, some owned, some apartments, some houses.  Today I live in a house, owned, with 2 acres of yard, nestled in the trees (that hold deer and owls and rabbits, box turtles, mice, raccoons, possums and armadillos--a list of the wildlife I have actually seen) with my closest neighbor a church that is mostly quiet except on Sunday and sometimes Wednesday night, centered within 20 miles of 3 different super Walmart stores, 3 different towns, where I am able to find almost anything I could ever need, a whole state away from the Gulf coast and hurricanes, with sushi available whenever I have a taste for it and outside we have a garden and a lawn so big we need a tractor to mow it and inside, high speed internet and a computer system wherein most of my friends live.  What more could I ask?  I love my home…my family lives here!

Day 3 – I am thankful for my husband Mike.  He is talented and clever and full of knowledge and a unique ability to figure out the solution to any problem.  I never need complain about Mike not doing any housework.  He was well trained by his mother and by his past wives …that someone has to do the work and sometimes that someone is him.  When something needs to be done, Mike does it.  I could make a long list of things about Mike that I am thankful for…the fact that he always wakes up early and makes the coffee before he wakes me, that he does all the mowing and never tries to get me to do it, his relationship with our son who lives here, the way he drives, the fact that he knows all about plumbing and electricity and has had practice with painting and with making things from wood.  Is it any wonder that I am thankful for my husband Mike?  It almost seems thankful isn’t a big enough word.

Day 4 – I am thankful for my children.  I will always wish that my daughter and my son had a better, fuller life, that they’d been able to travel more widely and meet more people and that they’d been exposed to more ways of doing things and seen more of life….but my best wishes for my daughter and my son are just one more way that I know I am thankful for them both.  I am thankful that my daughter, although she is an adult with a family and friends and problems and joys of her own, stops sometimes and tells her mother that she loves her.  She doesn’t forget me.  I am thankful that my son although he is an adult, helps out with things that need to be done, cooks deliciously, steps in to lend a hand when things are too heavy or too much hard work, occupies himself without looking to me or my husband to keep him from being bored living in the country with no place to go…and he, too stops sometimes to tell his mother that he loves her.

Day 5 – I am thankful for my grandchildren of which I have at least six-the oldest two are both adults and both of them have spouses and both of them have children of their own.  

My oldest granddaughter has a daughter.  I know she is a busy housewife and mother, but she never forgets to tell her grandmother that she loves her.   She makes sure that I am able to see lots and lots of pictures of her daughter (my great granddaughter) and she always makes me welcome when I come to visit her and her family.  I am grateful for my oldest grandson.  He has his troubles and he has been restricted to living at home, unable to travel, with problems working and going to school…but no matter how distant he seems to be from me, when I am able to see him he always throws open his arms to me and I see him go out of his way to make sure I get to see him and visit with him and meet his significant other and his son.  And he, too makes sure I am able to see pictures of his baby boy so that even though I cannot hold or cuddle the little man I can see him grow and get teeth and haircuts and learn to walk.  

I have two granddaughters, children of my step son…and I love them both and am thankful for the two of them.  Those two girls come to visit us in Arkansas and they stay as long as they can and they let me get to know them.  We have fun together and when I am able to go see them in Texas they are both glad to see me.  I am thankful for those two angel babies.  

I have two grandchildren, a son and a daughter of my step daughter…and I love them both.  The boy is older, just now in high school but no matter that the two of us might seem far apart he always comes to see.  When I am there to visit and he always has a hug for me and he is never bothered by me and takes his time to show me who he is and what he is up to.  The girl is the youngest of my grandchildren only now getting ready to start school.  She is a doll of a baby and I have gotten a new lease on life watching her grow up and get teeth and learn to walk and to talk…and now she is a chatterbox who always seems to know just who I am and have plenty of hugs and kisses and chatter that she saved just for me. 

I am thankful for all my grandchildren (including two children of my foster daughter, the nephew and the niece of my two step children,  neither of whom I know well, but the boy is cheerful and sweet and smart and when I see him he tends to treat me as if I surely belong to him…and the girl…I really have never seen much of the girl since I saw her once when she was newborn, but I will always know who she is and what makes her my granddaughter).  And because I have grandchildren who have children of their own, I have two great grandchildren, a boy and a girl …and I give thanks for them, too.

Day 6:  I am thankful for family and friends.  I am from a large family.  And many of those in my family I count as friends.  By the same token, I have friends who are so close that I consider them family.  It is a comfort to me to think about each one and to hold onto the memories that make us close.  Some people I meet and immediately feel as if I have known them all my life.  Others I have known all my life and never cease to be amazed at how our friendship seems to be always wonderful and new.  My life would not be the same without the family and friends that are a blessing to me.

Day 7:  I am thankful for the love in my life.  When I forget to count my blessings, somehow the love rushes in to fill that void and make me realize how much I am loved.  I love that!   And for that I give thanks!

Day 8:  I am thankful for my memories.  My lives have all been good ones and I am happy to think about each one of them and to see and touch all the goodness over and over again.  Maybe all my memories are not good ones, but from even those bad ones I am able to wrest something that makes me thankful.  The memories I hold of my family who has gone before me are precious because I cannot make any newer ones.  I am thankful that I can look back and relive those precious moments through my memories.

Day 9:  I am thankful that I am happily retired.  Now I can do a few of the things I always meant to do and never did.  Now that I don’t need to wake up at a certain time, I find I enjoy mornings.  My days are not filled with pressure or stress to do it, so I find it a pleasure just to walk down to the mailbox every day.  At night there is no worry to keep me awake so sleeping is just that, sleep, nothing more.

Day 10:  I am thankful for my parents.  My Mom is now deceased and my Dad is 92 years old.  I have always had the best parents of anyone anywhere.  My Dad always worked hard and took care of us, bringing home his paycheck and his lessons that have kept me from having to learn everything ‘the hard way.’  My mother always worked at home taking care of us and teaching me how to take care of housework and homework and all of it with a smile and a hug...and a laugh.  Together they made my life fun!

Day 11:  I am thankful for my siblings.  I had but one sister who is now deceased, but I am still thankful for the two of us growing up together.  I am thankful that she and I were able to live close to one another much of our adult lives so that I was able to know her and her family and friends.  I have four brothers, one older by 3 years and one younger by 3 years and one younger by 10 years and one younger by 20 years.  I am thankful to have been able to grow up with them, to know them as babies, to have had the advantage of their wise advice and learned knowledge.  It is such a blessing to think of each one of them and to be aware of what each one has given to me. 

Day 12:  I am thankful for my sisters in law.  Each one of my brothers has found and married a wife that is perfect for him and I am thankful for each of those sisters in law.  I could say that I am thankful that they have kept my brothers from bugging me, but I’d be joking because I truly wish I was able to see more of my brothers and would never be bugged.  I would insist though that each brother bring his wife because I want to see the wives just as much as I want to see the brothers and the two of them together will be perfect!  This year one of my brothers has agreed to host the family reunion of my maternal Grandfather…and he has asked each of his siblings to lend a hand.  I am really looking forward to the opportunity to be able to be around my sisters in law more often and more closely than I have been before.  Those gals, each one have the most wonderful children, too and have given me the best nephews, the nicest nieces in the world!

Day 13:  I am thankful that our family takes the time to hold a reunion every year.  I think the first official one was in 1979, over 30 years ago…and before that, I remember family get togethers at Thanksgiving and at Christmas and when my grandparents celebrated their 40^th and 50^th wedding anniversaries.  Over the years our family has grown unbelievably, and I am so lucky to be able to know my cousins and to know their children and their grandchildren.  My life is richer and fuller because I was able to visit everyone and to get to know them all at the family reunions.  My family tree is not one written on paper, it is a living, hugging, laughing, game playing bunch of people that I am thankful to know because we have had our reunions

Day 14 – I am thankful for modern technology that lets me communicate…my computer, the internet, facebook, my blog, my pages of pictures.  These things let me share with family and friends without actually traveling to where they are.  My digital camera lets me take pictures and put them up online almost immediately.  IMing allows me to talk (type) to anyone, anywhere.  My Yahoo voice lets me stay connected to my father’s computer so that I can talk to him every day, stay connected for hours on end and talk whenever we want to talk.  I’m thankful to have been there watching as the computer grew from a calculator to a game machine into a computer system…that after awhile had memory and then a hard drive and a faster and faster cpu and finally the internet.  Now I can share through my computer with anyone I want to…and the printer and copier and fax and voip telephone are all taken for granted, just a part of my wonderful life. 

Day 15 –  I am thankful for email.  I’ve always been able to use the mail.  I will always be thankful  for the pony express of history and our growing USPS that has made me able to stay in touch.  And now I am thankful to be able to stay in touch via email!!  My postal mail seems to be in trouble now, as if it has outlived its usefulness and that saddens me.  Without the postal service, we would not have boxes that give an address so we can collect our mail. There would be no working laws that make it a federal offense to read someone else’s mail or steal from the mail or the mailbox.  Postal workers are trained to keep privacy, give true certification, validate deliveries, and deliver the mail without fail.  What will we do without our postal service workers, especially the ones who deliver our mail honestly and efficiently.  (RIP Uncle Carl!) Lately all I get is ‘junk’ mail, but I go collect it every day and I am able to do so thanks to my mail deliverer.  

(I got a brilliant idea one day…when I get junk mail that contains a business reply/no postage necessary return envelope, I simply replace the ‘junk’ into the return envelope, mark it “not interested in your offer” and sometimes “please remove my name from your mailing list” and return the envelope to whoever sent it to me.  I don’t think that one person doing it will have much effect, but can you imagine everyone everywhere doing it?   That would keep the postal service in business and not needing to close down so many locations and it would make the corporations have to pay the bill.) 

For important things (or silly junk) that help me stay in touch every day, I’m thankful for email! 

Day 16 - I am thankful for imagination.  My imagination has taken me everywhere, to the places I’ve been before, to places I will never visit, allowing me to meet people and have a dream to follow all of my life.  I am thankful not just for my own imagination, but for other people’s imagination as well.  Without someone else’s imagination I would not be able to see the pictures they paint or to read the books they write.  My life might seem dull or boring or humdrum, and without imagination it might just be that, but with imagination my life flows and sparks with excitement and thrills with fun and danger.  Imagination, mine and anyone else’s fills my life and makes it well worth the living, no matter what it might seem to an onlooker!

Day 17 -  I am thankful for those who have gone before me.  I miss them sorely, but cherish the time that my people were there with me.  My sister died in 1993.  She was not yet 50.  The cause was listed as a systemic heart disease…meaning her heart was injured over time and gave out.  She wasn’t able to get help and slipped away kneeling beside her bed as if praying.  I will never forget our childhood together, laughing, fighting, colluding, disagreeing and loving one another through it all.  I am thankful that she and I were able to live close to one another much of our adult lives so that I was able to know her and her family and friends.  My sister had lots of trouble dealing with all the changes and scarey surprises that went on in her life.  Toward the end of it, she joined a Mormon church and she explained to me that her inner belief had always coincided with the Mormon belief in service to one’s fellow man.  She said that finally she was able to see how she could manage, looking for help from others when she needed and always giving back in every way that she could.  I watched her find a love for her life and a joy in being able to make contributions to the lives of others and making it her life’s goal to take care of herself and be strong in order to care for someone who needed help more than she did.  I didn’t’ realize it until she was gone, but by learning to do the things preparing her own life to be better she was in reality making herself ready for death.  I know she is in a better place.  One of the odd things about my sister was that she was always cold and she wore a coat even in the summertime.  When she came to visit me I had to tell her to leave my thermostat alone then bring her sweaters and blankets to make both of us comfortable.  My immediate thought when I heard she had died was “she is warm now!” 

My husband’s step father, my father in law died in 1996..  Everyone called him Gadget.  I will never forget him or cease to be grateful for having met him and lived close to him.  I count him among my best friends.  My mother in law had asked me to come stay with him for a few days so that she could go to the eye surgeon to have cataracts removed.  Later I learned that eye surgery takes more than just a few days…but at the time, the very day I arrived my father in law came home from the hospital where he’d gotten medical therapy for prostrate cancer.  He was sicker than I had ever seen him before and I called my husband that night and told him that as soon as he was able he should come because I didn’t know if my father in law was going to get better or die.  I didn’t’ mean to be right about him dying…he lasted 3 weeks after that and tried hard but in the end his breathing slowed and finally stopped.  I will treasure his sharing his last days with me forever. He was my mentor.  I learned little things and big things from him.  In particular I learned a personal religion, I learned patriotism, I learned how to fire a gun and fix a fishing pole and use a paintbrush and hammer a nail.  I Iearned what is important in life and what is not and how to tell the difference.  Odd that I was able to talk heartfelt to someone so different than me, but wonderful!  I am thankful.  

My mother died in 2005, not so long ago.  My mother will be precious to me always.  I do remember being a bit of a sassy brat during my teenage years and can still hear her threaten to ‘call me a dirty pig’ or shame me into knowing that it was easier for her to do something herself than have to argue me into doing it..  During those very same teenage years, looking back, I realize that my mother taught each of her kids how to fend for themselves without us realizing it.  When it came to kp duty I had one thing that I was responsible to complete, be it setting the table, making the salad, washing the dishes or cleaning the kitchen.  When I was on my own, it was almost as if I ‘knew’ stuff without ever having had to learn it…until I looked back and understood my mother had taught me, one thing at a time until I knew it all.  Even now when I look I see in myself and in all my mother’s children the legacy she nurtured her whole life.  I feel her love for education and learning, her appreciation for scenery and seasons, her willingness to make bread from scratch or plant a garden or take a class just to broaden her life experience.  My mother’s belief in Jesus was the most amazing thing about her.  I will never forget when she told me that she had been born again and I realized that she was not telling me that in order to convert me…she was telling me out of a joy that she had found and wanted to share with me.  My mother always loved me.  Late in her life she had a stroke and it was very difficult for her to learn how to walk and talk and read and write all over again.   She worked hard, trying to accomplish it…but spent her final days in a nursing home because she needed therapy every day so she could learn to take care of herself.  I quickly learned that people in a nursing home are neglected and left to be lonesome.  But not my mother!  Her big family came often to see her!  My dad never missed visiting her for more than a day. One niece of mine went almost every day and brought her kids and never missed a Sunday going to church with my mom, her grandmother.  My mother played bingo and sang in the choir and never missed Wheel of Fortune on TV.  But when I went to visit her she would sit by me and hold my hand and I would know she always loved me.  The last time I saw my mother, she wanted me to come to her room and when we got there…she told me to open a drawer and inside it was full of sweet treats and candy bars where she’d spent her ‘bingo token winnings’ at the nursing home store  open on Friday.  I laughed and told my mom, “I don’t eat sweets” and she just told me to close that drawer and open the bottom one.  It was full of chips.  

I can list others who were a part of my life and who died…Homer who was my daughter’s grandfather, my first husband and his mother.  My Grandpa Nagel and my Grandma Nagel wait for me in heaven.  Grandma Mary, Grandma Maude were part of my growing up.  And, as well were my Uncle Tex and Aunt Denny and Uncle Narb and my Aunt Georgene.  I will always remember my young friend that everyone called Little Joe, also Daniel who was my Boy Scout helper when I was a den leader, and Big Dave who started out as a business acquaintance and grew into a friend also Susie’s husband Eurice James whom everyone called Tiny.  I must mention Uncle Eilert, Uncle Ralph, Uncle Wilmer, Uncle Herb, Aunt Leila, Aunt Verna, Aunt Helen, actually two Aunt Helens have gone now…and Aunt Virginia and my Great Aunt Ruth, all of them gone, but always remembered as a part of my childhood, my growing up, my life.  I will remember Uncle Bob and Uncle Earl and Uncle Lefty and Aunt Mert and Aunt Aileen.  I am thankful to have known each and every one of them.  Each one has had meaning in my life giving much to me and teaching things to me that I will forever be thankful for.

Day 18 – I am thankful for working outside on sunny days…like today.  It was cold last night and the night before and I know that winter is here, because the leaves that were a wall of color, reds and yellows and browns last week are gone leaving mostly bare branches reaching for the sky.  Today, though, dawned bright and sunny and it feels so good to go outside and feel the chill while my husband and I clean the yard of the debris of the leaves and the vines that took over the trees in the summer months.  We built a fire and the smoke smells good, reminding me of days when we buried foil wrapped potatoes and other surprises in our outdoor fires and let them cook while we as children worked outside.  It feels good just to breathe the air and soak up the sunshine.  I read today that sunshine is full of Vitamin D.  For the Vitamin D and for the way it makes me feel, I am thankful for the sunshine.

Day 19 – I am thankful for having lived in Louisiana.  I’ve lived in most of the states because my father, who was a pipeliner and still is, moved from place to place all during my childhood.  When I was a third grader we moved to Mansfield, Louisiana where the pipeline warehouse was located.  I was  amazed  with the differences between that place and every other place I had lived before  and will always remember playing different games on the playground.  Where I used to play ‘red rover’ and London Bridges in Louisiana we played ‘pickin up paw-paws’.  There were different songs in music class and different things we memorized and different stories I’d never heard before although they were traditional there.  Everyone spoke with a different accent and thought my ‘yankee’ accent (though it came from Kansas, and was not very Yankee) was cute.  Even the food was different.  I remember one time in the lunch room they served what looked like spinach, and I loved spinach, and me not eating sweets, traded my dessert for everyone else around me’s spinach.  Turned out it was mustard greens, tangy and sharp and I went to an old fashioned school where they told me I needed to clean up my plate when I ate!  I went home and told my mom they were trying to kill me.  But I’ll never forget the food I loved, so different, the biscuits made with buttermilk, the chicken fried steak that melted in your mouth, grits for breakfast, and rice and gravy!  Delicious.  I always wanted to go back to see if it was like I remembered  and when I was nineteen I was able to go to Lafayette with my older brother and go to school at USL.  I loved it there, the accents, the joie d’viere, the music and dancing, mardi gras, everything was different, especially the food.  I lived there for nearly 15 years and grabbed the chance to learn to make a roux and smother steak and peel crawfish and shrimp.  I miss the crawfish every Christmas.  I miss boudin for breakfast and the stuffed shrimp and crab for dinner.  Mostly I miss the gumbo.  Do you eat okra in your gumbo?  I do!  And I will always be thankful that I lived one of my lives in Louisiana where I learned how to eat and how to love life and to enjoy the living of it.  Now I celebrate mardi gras listen to music I find pleasing, smile before anyone else has a chance to smile first and I sing loud and dance as if nobody is watching.

Day 20 – I am thankful for my work experience, although now that I am retired and may never use it again, every job I ever had was an experience.  I’ve worked for an insurance company and 2 lawyers,  one in a private practice and another who was the District Attorney.  I was the photographer and reporter for a weekly newspaper and during the time I was there, the circulation increased from 24 to 32 pages and some of the photographs I took belonged on the front page!  I worked as a teacher, a librarian, a school nurse, an office assistant and was in charge of detention while I was a substitute teacher.  The best ‘job’ ever was owning my own business-a computer supply and repair store.  I loved working with the public most of all!  My real job was keeping books and filing for licenses and permits, purchasing and taxes.  Sales is what I loved most, waiting on customers.  And now I am retired from work and have a garden and a deep freeze and I am thankful for that work experience, too!

Day 21 – I am thankful for coffee.  I’m thankful that I put cream in my coffee.  I didn’t always drink coffee, but when I came to Louisiana in 1964, the people made it seem as if I was missing out on something by not drinking coffee.  So I tried it.  The “French” homes I visited had a roasting pan full of water boiling on the back burner of the stove and a little Cajun drip pot sitting in it.  When I’d come, they’d all gather around the table and the hostess would put coffee grounds into the pot and some of the boiling water, pour demitasse cups half full from the coffee pot and we’d all drink a cup of coffee.  My French friends would use sugar, and lots of it, filling their little spoons with sugar and dumping it into the little cup until the coffee almost reached the top.  If they used milk, it was invariably canned milk and only a drop.  I tried drinking mine black, but the coffee was so strong I could barely down the couple of swallows in the cup.  I’d pour milk into my cup until it was filled.  That was easier for me to swallow, but the Cajun French people teased me and called what I drank ‘coffe milk’…as if to say I put a some coffee into my milk instead of milk into my coffee.  (I never said a word about the amount of sugar they put into their coffee cups.)  My American friends in Louisiana used a brand of coffee called Community.  No other coffee has tasted so good to me!  And when I was overseas in French West Africa, I was really glad I took milk in my coffee!  That is what introduced me to café’o lait.  Nothing better!  And that was what made the tea with cream in it when I Iived in England almost familiar and something I was willing to taste.  Nowadays I wake up to the smell of dripping coffee and drink coffee every morning.  There’s no better way for me to start my day and I start each day being thankful.  Mmmmm.

Day 22 – I am thankful for the ‘universal language’.  No matter where I go or who I encounter, I am able to make someone understand what I am saying and I can understand what they want to say to me.  I remember stopping in Zurich during one arm of my flight overseas to Senegal.  The people at the airport understood English and helped me find a cab to go spend my layover there in a hotel.  At the hotel they also understood English and helped me bill my husband’s company so I didn’t need to pay charges, not even the cost of a babysitter coming to watch over my sleeping six month old baby in my hotel room while I went on an excursion.  I was excited about seeing Switzerland and at the desk they gave me a voucher so that when I needed to spend money I could just put the charges onto the voucher.  The hotel door man told the taxi driver to show me some of the sights and he did.  He didn’t understand English, but he did take me to see some wonderful places and stopped at a department store for me to buy souvenirs that I charged on my voucher and I ate a sandwich at an outdoor care and chaged that too.  When I got back to the hotel, the cab driver wrote on my voucher and I went back to my room with only about an hour to change mine and the baby’s clothes (I had heard that it would be hot in Senegal, but in Zurich it was very cold!) and and return to the airport in a taxi.   At the hotel when the doorman put me into the taxi to the airport, he gave a voucher to the cab driver to sign, so I know the trip was paid for, but at the airport the taxi driver started telling me something in a language that I did not understand.  I told him every way I knew how that I didn’t understand, while I tried to handle checking my luggage in and showing my temporary immigration visa and my passport  and my ticket where I needed to….although everyone seemed to speak English when I arrived, when it was time for me to catch my flight out, I could not find anyone who spoke English.  Finally a girl who was passing by stopped to tell me that what the cab driver was yelling at me about was that I had not paid him and he wanted his money.  I tried to explain about the voucher to the girl, but she just walked away leaving me to deal with the cabdriver without help.  I said as clearly as possible that I had no money and that he had been paid by voucher, but he just kept on yelling at me and standing in my way so I could not go down the hallway to join the other passengers at my gate.  Worried, I said to him that all I had was American money…and would you know it, all of a sudden that man knew how to speak English enough to say “I will accept American money.”  I gave him the last $7 I had…and apparently he could see that was all I had, because he walked away then and let me go on.  I determined right then that I was going to learn, if not to speak to people in their own language, at least to communicate.

Now I can point and make hand signs and use English words that are nearly the same as those in other similar languages to make myself understood.  I have learned to count to ten in French, Spanish,  Norwegian and I can say yes and no and the magic words  please and thank you in several more.  When I am learning a new language I find the word to learn first is the American equivalent of okay.  And when I don’t understand I use the universal word ‘annhhhh?’ 

Day 23 – I am thankful for smiles.  Universally everyone understands a smile.  Smiling has gotten me by in both familiar and unfamiliar surroundings.  Smiling has gained me peace, stopped argument and disarmed the most argumentative combatant.  When I see a new face, I try to be the one who smiles first.  It might not help, but it has never hurt.  I don’t’ always win, but no matter what my opponent smiles back at me. J

Day 24 – I am thankful for the hard times in my life.  It is not easy for me to explain, but if it weren’t for having to make do with only what I had, I would not have learned to be careful and use things wisely.  The hard times in my life have made me a stronger person. I think I heard it expressed best when someone said that the Good Lord never gives you more than you can handle.

Day 25 – I am thankful for tears.  Again it is not easy to explain, but if not for sorrow, joy would be less joyful, happiness less happy.  It does not matter why I cried, there was always an end to the tears and a realization that life goes on.  Tears have washed away my pain. Blissfulness might not go on forever, but neither does sadness.  Tears have helped me to move past whatever it was that made me cry.

Day 26 -  I am thankful for Sundays.  This item actually needs no explanation.   Sunday is always a time to be at ease, a time to listen, a time to pray, a time to dress and wear my hair in whatever fashion makes me feel good about myself.  Sunday is a time to drop worries and stop struggling.  Sunday is a day to rest and recuperate and prepare for the week to come with its next Sunday.

Day 27 -  I am thankful for argument and controversy.  I know that sounds like a mistake, but it’s true.  I like the discussion with someone from on the other side who doesn’t believe the same as I do.  I like to hear the arguments that either convince me to change my view or to hold my belief more strongly.   I think it increases freedoms for all of us.  Not all answers are black and white.  Sometimes there are things for which there is no real answer.  Sometimes there is more than one answer because there are more things than just one facet of a controversy involved.  We don’t live on a flow chart and if-then statements don’t cover the topic.  Controversy has aspects that need to be considered.  I think listening and talking add to my own knowledge and understanding.  I love hearing someone else’s point of view. And I am thankful that we don’t all of us see things exactly alike.

Day 28 – I am thankful for my little town.  It’s just a crossroads really, but on one corner of the cross roads there’s a bank and on another a gas station with a convenience store.  That’s not all, here’s the post office and an independent grocery store (with gas pumps out front, but lately they have stopped selling gas and most of the employees seem to be related to the owner.)  Behind that a car wash and a mechanic’s shop that sells tires and batteries and and a mechanic who does a thorough inspection and gives a valid estimate.  Down the road, the 8 united Bismarck churches have a resale store where local volunteer salespeople share the jobs and split the earnings donated back to the churches.  On that road, there’s a little beauty shop and a fire station and an ambulance office and a Mr. Fixit with a welding shop on the corner.  Across from our cooperative telephone company offices, is a little local golf course.  On that road, Bismarck has apartments, a kennel, more storage rentals and a hardware store and a fruit stand.  Behind the bank, on the other side of the road there’s a flea market, the world’s largest homemade ice cream making machine and a farmer’s market and behind that a hamburger restaurant that purports to sell the best hamburgers available in Arkansas.  (We know better…the best hamburgers in Arkansas we make at our house and not for sale, but we’ll give you one if you come to lunch!)  Behind the convenience store there’s a restaurant, a buffet that sells fried catfish and pizza.  Across the street there’s a dollar store where you can get a little of this and a little of that and some you name it if you need. Further down a Mexican food restaurant  and a Laundromat and a Storage business where you can store things in locked units or leave your boats and motor homes under rented roofs.  Or go down the other direction to another Laundromat…in front of the gas station with the little store and restaurant inside where you can pay your fire station dues, drop quarters into a gaming machine or buy soft serve ice cream with flavors!  We mostly buy the watermelon or the butter pecan.  Back at the crossroads there’s a flower shop and an antique store.  There’s also a book store that sells mostly religious books because it is housed in a church building, but they sell other things like a gift shop…fiction for children with morals and happy endings, bookmarks, book lamps, wrapping paper and ribbons, pillows and decorations, candles and air fresheners and printed tee shirts.  The crossroads lead North to Hot Springs and Garland County, South to Arkadelphia where the land is only 100 feet above sea level, East to Malvern, the seat of Hot Springs County and West is the town of Amity where there are horse ranches along the mountain roads and houses high up overlooking the pastures and some of the most beautiful scenery I’ve ever seen.  I love my little town of Bismarck and its location over 500 feet above sea level.

Day 29  - I am thankful for hard work that makes you sleep soundly all night and wake up refreshed.  I’m thankful for the aches that make me know I am alive and encourage me to exercise and stretch.  I am thankful for the feelings of accomplishment that hard work brings.  I am thankful for hard work.

Day 30 – I am thankful that this list has reached its end.  I could go on and on and on and never stop listing all the things I am thankful for.  It has been fun for me to stop and think and write about some of the things that are on my mind, that make me praise the Lord.  If my list was any longer than 30 days though, I would not have room on my blog to put  pictures.  Now that I see this 30 days of Thanksgiving is written to its end it feels good to me to have done it and I am thankful.